Day 3

One thing that I’ve haven’t even mentioned so far is a really weird spiritual experience I had about one and a half year ago at my parents house.

Believe me it’s relevant to this story 🙂

I was stressing out over how I had to carry on and how to get rid of this massive amount of debt. I really didn’t know what to do. I was dogsitting at my parents house and I decided to do a meditation to get clarity on this impedement in my life.

So I sat down and meditated while repeating a question over and over again. I don’t remember how I phrased it exactly but it was something like:
“What is the next step in my life to turn things around?”

I did this multiple times for 10 minutes and when meditating on this for like the 3rd of 4th time I layed down on the couch and in the middle of the meditation I dozed off slightly. Kind of in between sleeping and being awake. Then it happened. I heard a voice that said one sentence one time. “Step into the spotlight”

I was wide awake in an instant and my heartrate was through the roof. But not in a scared way but in a really alert way. The way you feel when you are in flow while working with a little bit of adrenaline.

Up until yesterday I had no idea what it meant. I made it the theme of my goalboard for 2017 but I interpretted it differently. I thought I had to step up and do more presentations. Which I did. But yesterday it finally landed. I have to put the darkside, that I’ve been hiding for years, in the spotlight and use it to my advantage. Make it my bitch so to say 😀

I really believe we only get into situations that we can handle. They’re meant to shape us. The way I’ve been seeing this was that this was my education tuition fee. But now I see that it’s way more than that. It’s the perfect crap in my life I needed to become the version of me that I can be. I can either hide it and act like it doesn’t exist or man the fuck up and grab it by the balls and own it. Since yesterday I’ve decided that it’s the latter.

The balance for today on day 3:



Expected expenses today:
+/- € 15,00 (grocery shopping)

Expenses yesterday:
€ 0,00
€ 0,00

Expected income today:
Nothing concrete. I havea few codementor requests.

Income yesterday:
€ 0,00

€ 11,35

Current balance personal account:
€ 55,83

Current balance business account:
– € 36,22

€ 30,96

– IRS: € 46.745,16
– Business: € 22.016,58
– Personal: € 8.710,69

Total Debt:
€ 77.472,43

Balance day 2:
– € 77.441,47



€ 4.900,00



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